The Responsibility of Modesty

By Shannon Moeller, a strong Christian young man from Illinois. Originally submitted as a text response to The Rebelution's Modesty Survey. I found his thoughts and his exelent analogies to be very helpful to me as a girl.


Dueteronomy 22:8 says "When you make a new house, you shall make a parapet for your roof, that you may not bring the guilt of blood upon your house, if anyone should fall from it." My sister has often heard from the other girls, "It seems that the whole point to this modesty thing is to try and hide the fact that I'm female. If I do that how will a guy ever notice me?"
In my opinion, modesty is no more about hiding the fact that a woman is a woman than having a parapet around a roof is about hiding the fact that a roof is a roof. The primary purpose of the parapet is so that no one falls off the roof and dies, binging guilt upon the homeowner. One primary purpose of modesty is to prevent men from "falling" on account of a woman's unguarded body.
"But won't certain men lust no matter what?"
Yes. Just like certain men will jump off a roof, despite the parapet. If a man wants to jump, you should do what you can to stop him. But, if he forces himself through and jumps anyway, the guilt is on his head, not yours. The parapet is there to keep men that don't want to jump from falling. It's the same with modesty.
"But how do I know what's modest and what's not?"
This question can be likened to asking "How tall does the wall around my roof need to be?" Some people judge this choice by asking "How low can I make the wall and still fulfill the requirements?" While others ask the better question "How tall should the wall be so that it will protect those on the roof?"
The "how low" group might build a 12 inch railing or a fench with four-foot gaps between posts. Technically speaking, the roof has a parapet either way. The problem is these railings might do more to cause those on the roof to fall than if there was no wall at all. There is no safety.
The "how tall" group of people might build a 9 foot tall, solid brick wall ensuring that even Goliath would have a hard time forcing himself over the railing. This would certainly fulfill the requirments, but its obviously overkill. Instead of a roof with a parapet, you've got a two-story house with no roof at all.
You don't have to hide the fact that your house has a roof or that you are a woman. You don't have to build a 9 foot wall or wear a gigantic paper over your body. But you do have to do what you can to protect your guests and the purity of your brothers (the Modesty Survey should be a great help with that.)
In this, you are protected. If someone falls, the guilt is not on your head. You show love and honor to your God, your father, your future husband and children, others around you, and yourself. Your modesty shines. Even if a guy doesn't know what it is exactly, he will notice that there's something different about you. That's the right kind of attention.