Now That I Have Seen

Albertine

by Brooke Fraser

I am sitting still, I think of Angelique

Her mother's voice over me

And the bullets in the wall where it fell silent

And on a thousandth hill, I think of Albertine

There in her eyes what I don't see with my own

Rwanda

Now that I have seen, I am responsible

Faith without deeds is dead

Now that I have held you in my own arms, I will not let go till you are

I am on a plane, across a distant sea

But I carry you in me

And the dust on, the dust on, the dust on my feet

I will tell the world, I will tell them where I have been

I will tell the world

I will tell them Albertine

I am on a stage, a thousand eyes on me

I will tell them Albertine

I will tell them Albertine

This is my Albertine...my Samantha. Now that I have seen, I am responsible. And I will never forget.

I Feel Traitorous

I haven't posted in over a week. =0) Shocking, I know - to me espescially. I've been at the Gimottys since Tuesday - I just got home about 5 minutes ago. Even during this stressful time (in case you didn't hear, my parents were in Jeff City again helping my grandpa with some pretty serious decisions) it was a joy to be there. The kids just make me laugh all the time; wow do they have energy! :0)

It is also a comfort to me to know I have friends that care about what we're going through. I got sick last night (I swear, I'll never eat another one of those greasy sonic burgers again) and sweet Viv called me the next day to see how I was doing. Love you, Girl! If you're remotely interested, here are some ways you can pray for us during this time: 1. That God would guide my grandpa and help him make the right decisions. There is now the possibility that he could come up to Kansas City for physical therapy at the rehab hospital here. 2. That God would give my family peace. Its really stressful just waiting all the time - espescially knowing you can't really do anything. Emotionally draining.

Oookay! That was probably way too much information. This is really on the edge of becoming a Nothing Post. lol. So - in closing- here is something on a more lighthearted scale:

Ben sent this to me. He knows me pretty well, does he not? LOL. :0)

An Update

Here I am, blogging from Jefferson City. My grandpa was scheduled to have quadruple bypass surgery tomorrow, on Wednesday, but it turned out there were some complications and it has been postponed. He had some fluid in his lungs and his blood was too thin. To water it down, this surgery is a big deal. We don't want any complications - espescially for a man my grandpa's age and health. The doctor - who is a wonderful Christian man by the way - jokingly calls my grandpa "the mystery man"...you never know what's going to happen next! So, at the earliest they'll get him into surgery on Thursday. Hopefully, we'll be home on Friday.
Sorry - that's probably more information than ya'll need. I know I've been asking ya'll to "pray" but sometimes its helpful to know more specifically what to pray for. Sooo...
1. Pray that my grandpa wouldn't be afraid. He is not afraid of death - he loves the Lord and has faith - but I think he's mostly afraid of the suffering that is going to be involved with everything that's going on. He needs the Lord's peace.
2. Pray for my dad. With him being a doctor, all of my extended family really depends on him to know what to do. This can be a burden because he wants to help, but he is human! People are people. Doctors are people. People are not God!
3. Pray for my grandma. I think God has really given her a peace throughout this whole ordeal, but she loves her husband and hates to see him suffer. After forty-some years of marraige she is still so in love with him - it really shows - and my heart really goes out to her.
4. Pray for Abby - she is so little and really can't understand what's going on and seeing her grandpa so weak...its just rough on her. For a five-year-old, its pretty scary seeing someone you love all hooked up to machines and with tubes sticking out of him.
Okay. So there's my list. :) Even though I want to be here, I'm looking forward to coming home and seeing you all!
~Elisabeth

Prayer Request

Over the past couple of months, my grandpa's health has been failing pretty quickly. For a while we didn't know anything was seriously wrong besides the fact that he was just tired all the time and his hips and back hurt. Then it turned out that one of his kidneys was failing.
The doctors in Jeff City kept telling him if he could just keep his blood pressure down, things would get better. But they were wrong. Day before yesterday my grandma and grandpa came up to see a Nephrologist (a kidney specialist) here in Kansas City. It turns out that not only has one kidney failed completely, but the other is only functioning at 14%. And still going down hill.
Now, being the daughter of a doctor, I know this is significant. But let me explain. The kidneys are responsible for - to water it down a little - cleaning the blood in our bodies. Without them, we can't live.
Now, because of modern medicine, there are options we didn't have years ago. There is a process called Dialasis where you go into the hospital three times a week and they hook you up to a machine for several hours. The machine slowly circulates your blood out of your body and into the machine, where it is cleaned, and then puts it back into you. I know, it sounds disgusting - and it is, it makes you pretty sick. But it's pretty much our only option right now. Most people do this for a while until they get a kidney transplant. But my dad said because of his blood type, this would not be a likely candidate.
My first response is to get mad at the doctors in Jeff City. How could they not have noticed what was going on? And then I was reminded of Pastor Hoffman's sermon a couple Sundays ago. "People are people. People are not God." People are not sovereign. God is. And nothing any person can do could have changed God's plan, anyway. God's plans for our lives are good, no matter what they might look like for us. We can rest in this promise knowing that we don't have to be responsible for these things. God already has it all taken care of!
Thankfully, my grandpa is a strong Christian. He loves the Lord with all his heart. And I know he trusts in him in the midst of the storm. This, in turn, gives me comfort! But it is a trial nonetheless, and I am asking for your guys' prayer. I know you will pray for us, and I am grateful for that.
May God receive all the glory during this time!