Yes folks, you heard me right. In honor of our literature class with the lovely Mrs. Altstadt, and her mention of the "Shakespeare Insult Dictionary", I was compelled to Google it. And came up with this. So, without further ado...
click here
and laugh =D
Showing posts with label Funnies and Comics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funnies and Comics. Show all posts
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Introducing...
The newest addition to the bloggosphere...
MR. SMITH!!!
Check out his new blog here, and read ALL the episodes. Until we write more, that is. ;) Be sure to leave a comment!
MR. SMITH!!!
Check out his new blog here, and read ALL the episodes. Until we write more, that is. ;) Be sure to leave a comment!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Sneak Peak... :-)
For those of you who have no idea what this is...
Us and the H's filmed a movie about two years ago called "Blubber Boy." A few weeks ago, on sudden inspiration, we decided to create a sequel. Posted here are the bloopers. And before you watch them, there are a few things you should know...
1. The...er...gaseous...noises, are fake. Ben - in his maleness - added them in after the filming. He just happened to place them quite...well. Don't feel bad if you are female and you laugh. I did.
2. Where there are the "censored" beeping noises, the only thing Josh is saying is, well, beep. Literally. I think he said "darn" once. I hope this doesn't offend anyone.
That being said...Enjoy!
Friday, February 29, 2008
Feeding the Flesh
Hello all. You've probably already seen this cartoon by Joshua Harris, but if you haven't, don't pass it up...
(1) This is you. Or, us, humans made in God's image.
(2) This is the flesh. He’s kind of a Jabba the Hut meets WWF wrestler. The Flesh represents the sinful, corrupted desires of our heart. It’s not a reference to our bodies–our bodies are created by God and are good. The flesh represents our sinful cravings to live for ourselves and disobey God’s laws and commands.
(3) Before Jesus saves us, this is how all of us relate to the flesh. The Bible says that we are slaves to our sinful desires. Our flesh is boss. If you’re not a Christian, I’m not trying to offend you. I know this isn’t a flattering picture of your current condition but it’s true of all of us apart from God saving us.
(4) This is what happens when we trust in Jesus. Because Jesus died on the cross and conquered sin and rose again, we are freed from the power of sin. It’s no longer our boss. See how the chain is broken? And we get clothes, which is really great.
(5) But our flesh doesn’t disappear. It still hangs around to entice us. After we’re Christians, we’re no longer slaves to sin, but the flesh can still tempt us. We can choose to give into temptation and indulge the flesh. This is what theologians call “indwelling sin.” Jesus broke the power of sin, but we still live with the presence and influence of sinful desires.
(6) That's why the Bible is full of encouragement to fight our fleshy desires. We can't live in peace with it. We have to attack it and deny it. (In hindsight, I guess the “sword of the Spirit” would have been a bit more biblical. Oh well.)
(7) The problem is that too often Christians make friends with their flesh. In fact they feed their flesh. We give into our sinful desires. We pamper our flesh. We provide it three rounded meals a day with snacks and dessert. We might think that since we’ve been freed by the cross it’s okay to indulge the flesh. But there’s a real problem. When we feed the flesh…
(8) …it grows! And before you know it, the flesh is bigger and stronger than you and starts to push you around. That’s why Paul is telling us in Romans 13 that we need to…
(9) …starve our flesh! That’s what we want our flesh to look like. We want the flesh gaunt and feeble. When Paul says “make no provision for the flesh” he’s saying don’t feed your sinful desires. Don’t do things—don’t think things, don’t watch things, don’t meditate on things—that strengthen your sinful inclinations.
(1) This is you. Or, us, humans made in God's image.
(2) This is the flesh. He’s kind of a Jabba the Hut meets WWF wrestler. The Flesh represents the sinful, corrupted desires of our heart. It’s not a reference to our bodies–our bodies are created by God and are good. The flesh represents our sinful cravings to live for ourselves and disobey God’s laws and commands.
(3) Before Jesus saves us, this is how all of us relate to the flesh. The Bible says that we are slaves to our sinful desires. Our flesh is boss. If you’re not a Christian, I’m not trying to offend you. I know this isn’t a flattering picture of your current condition but it’s true of all of us apart from God saving us.
(4) This is what happens when we trust in Jesus. Because Jesus died on the cross and conquered sin and rose again, we are freed from the power of sin. It’s no longer our boss. See how the chain is broken? And we get clothes, which is really great.
(5) But our flesh doesn’t disappear. It still hangs around to entice us. After we’re Christians, we’re no longer slaves to sin, but the flesh can still tempt us. We can choose to give into temptation and indulge the flesh. This is what theologians call “indwelling sin.” Jesus broke the power of sin, but we still live with the presence and influence of sinful desires.
(6) That's why the Bible is full of encouragement to fight our fleshy desires. We can't live in peace with it. We have to attack it and deny it. (In hindsight, I guess the “sword of the Spirit” would have been a bit more biblical. Oh well.)
(7) The problem is that too often Christians make friends with their flesh. In fact they feed their flesh. We give into our sinful desires. We pamper our flesh. We provide it three rounded meals a day with snacks and dessert. We might think that since we’ve been freed by the cross it’s okay to indulge the flesh. But there’s a real problem. When we feed the flesh…
(8) …it grows! And before you know it, the flesh is bigger and stronger than you and starts to push you around. That’s why Paul is telling us in Romans 13 that we need to…
(9) …starve our flesh! That’s what we want our flesh to look like. We want the flesh gaunt and feeble. When Paul says “make no provision for the flesh” he’s saying don’t feed your sinful desires. Don’t do things—don’t think things, don’t watch things, don’t meditate on things—that strengthen your sinful inclinations.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
The Lie-Clock
Okay...so...I know this isn't the most gracious joke in the world...but I couldn't resist. My uncle is most faithful in sending us the crem'de'la'crem of Hillary Clinton jokes. Here's the very latest:
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move."
"Oh," said the man, "who's clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's," replied St. Peter, "the hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible!" Said the man, "And who's clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, indicating that he only told two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Hillary Clinton's clock?" Asked the man.
"Hillary's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
Catch ya next time,
Elisabeth~
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move."
"Oh," said the man, "who's clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's," replied St. Peter, "the hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible!" Said the man, "And who's clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, indicating that he only told two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Hillary Clinton's clock?" Asked the man.
"Hillary's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
Catch ya next time,
Elisabeth~
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Sunday Comics
Hello-oooo,
Found something really funny on Girl Talk. For you girltalkers who saw this already on Friday - well - whatever. I thought I'd provide the link anyways.
Enjoy!
Found something really funny on Girl Talk. For you girltalkers who saw this already on Friday - well - whatever. I thought I'd provide the link anyways.
Enjoy!
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Thursday Funnies
So I was planning on posting all my comics etc. on Fridays like they do on Girl Talk, but I'm not that orgainized nor that patient to wait for Fridays. Besides, I hadn't posted anything today - I've been busy - tea at the Quilla's this morning and some song writing with my buddies all afternoon (Emily and Ben are funny as anything!) So. Anyway. Enjoy!
So there's this kid who lives on a farm wa-a-ay out in the middle of no-where. They weren't the richest people in the world (they can barely afford to feed thier cow) and so of course they can't afford indoor plumbing. Well, this kid - let's just call him Joe - hates their outhouse. And I mean hates it. I can't blame him, really - it stunk in the summer and was freakin' cold in the winter. So Joe decides that, one way or the other, he's getting rid of that outhouse. It had rained all week - the creek was high and rushing - so Joe snuck out and tipped the outhouse into the creek and watched it float away out of sight.
Later that evening, while the family was eating supper, Joe's dad asks: "Joe, do you know what happened to the outhouse?"
"Yes sir," replies Joe, "I threw it into the creek this afternoon."
"Son," says Joe's dad "I'll see you in the woodshed after supper."
"Dad," says Joe, "remember that story about George Washington chopping down his father's favorite cherry tree? And how George's father didn't punish him because he told the truth?"
"Yes, I know."
"I told the truth! Are you still going to punish me?" Joe's father leans across the table and looks him in the eye. "Son," he says, "I don't reckon George Washington's father was in that cherry tree."
So there's this kid who lives on a farm wa-a-ay out in the middle of no-where. They weren't the richest people in the world (they can barely afford to feed thier cow) and so of course they can't afford indoor plumbing. Well, this kid - let's just call him Joe - hates their outhouse. And I mean hates it. I can't blame him, really - it stunk in the summer and was freakin' cold in the winter. So Joe decides that, one way or the other, he's getting rid of that outhouse. It had rained all week - the creek was high and rushing - so Joe snuck out and tipped the outhouse into the creek and watched it float away out of sight.
Later that evening, while the family was eating supper, Joe's dad asks: "Joe, do you know what happened to the outhouse?"
"Yes sir," replies Joe, "I threw it into the creek this afternoon."
"Son," says Joe's dad "I'll see you in the woodshed after supper."
"Dad," says Joe, "remember that story about George Washington chopping down his father's favorite cherry tree? And how George's father didn't punish him because he told the truth?"
"Yes, I know."
"I told the truth! Are you still going to punish me?" Joe's father leans across the table and looks him in the eye. "Son," he says, "I don't reckon George Washington's father was in that cherry tree."
Friday, April 20, 2007
Things I have learned from my boys...
I got this one from the Girl Talk blog the other day and oh my goodness, could I relate! Whoever sent this in was a mother of little boys. I am not a mother, of course, but I am however, a sister which is almost as bad or worse.
Hope you laugh. I did.
"Things I have learned from my boys (honest and not kidding)"
1.) A king sized water bed holds enough water to fill a 200 sq. ft. house 4 ft. deep.
2.) If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and roll over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A three year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. However, it is strong enough, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not through baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. A ceiling fan can throw a baseball a very long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double pane) is not strong enough to stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh-oh" its already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with clorox makes smoke -- lot's of it.
9.) A six year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Legos can pass through the digestive track of a four year old boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much jell-o you put in a swimming pool you still cannot walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like jell-o.
15.) VCR's do not eject PBJ sadwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make alot of noise when driving.
18.) You probaby DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before turning it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
Pretty good, huh?
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